24 July 2019

Anke wrote to ask how I am doing in my walk with Jesus?  In the words of Graham Cooke “The Lord knows absolutely everything, and it has not prevented Him from loving us wholeheartedly!” and “Life isn’t about fighting off the old stuff, it’s about totally embracing the new.”    

About the word I received at church the day before beginning my trip home to Mombasa last September-- " this will not be an extension of your old assignment; this is a new assignment” -- I am still not 100% sure what the new assignment could be, and I am vacillating between praying about it and avoiding to even think about it.  

Even as I write this I am reminded of the verse “…you will find me when you seek me with your whole heart.”     I have a sense that the “new assignment” has much more to do with BEING than DOING.    Perhaps I am running from that.   Fearful and ashamed that I seem to be unwilling to “totally embrace” the new thing Father through Jesus is offering/promising.

In the midst of that uncertainty I carry on with DOING---the daily life of data entry for base and National Office accounts, teaching in DTS’s, mentoring others and being a friend when opportunities arise, giving financial support to individual staff and ministries as I am able.   I am also still on the YWAM Kenya NLT, the only remaining member from previous configurations. 

In the area of BEING---it is difficult to see change in ourselves, isn’t it?  Part of the reason we need each other I am sure.   It was so nice to see Vero again,when she came from South Africa to teach Bible Study in our DTS.    She came to my house for dinner one evening and we had a wonderful visit.   She is always involved in so many different things and is gifted in so many ways!!  

She encouraged me by saying that she saw a change in me since our last meeting.  She said I seemed more at peace and content than previously and I believe this is true in some areas.  I think I have been successful, by God’s abundant grace and in some measure, to separate my self-worth from the job that I do.      Moving from DOING to BEING is not a one-step journey, is it?